Coming to Terms With Your Feelings When Your Loved One is Deployed

Deployment brings on a slew of emotions. You may have pride that your loved one, be it your spouse, child, friend, or other significant other, is serving their country, yet you may feel stress, depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions as well. Let’s talk about it.

Get Help For these Emotions

These emotions you feel are normal, and you should have a discussion about them with your counselor or your therapist. There are many ways you can deal with your emotions on your own, but when your anxiety or depression is so extreme, you may need professional help.

The Internet has made it easier than ever to get the help you need. Sites such as ReGain.us make it a lot easier. Try it today.

Some Emotions You May Feel

When your significant other is deployed, you’re likely feeling some tough emotions. Examples include:

Stress

Seeing your loved one deployed can increase your stress all throughout their journey. On one hand, their deployment may consist of just sitting around in a base. On the other hand, your loved one could be in danger. You may imagine scenarios where your loved one is wounded. What makes this stress worse is you can’t control it. It was your loved one’s choice and the only thing you can do is wait.

Too much stress can lead to various mental and physical health problems.

Depression

When your significant other is deployed, you may feel a bout of depression, too. Depression is an emotion that’s hard to cope with, especially when it’s situational and you can’t handle it. Depression is more than feeling sad; it can give you sleeping issues, make you lose interest in the activities you used to love, make it harder for you to deal with keeping a schedule, and it ends up being a cycle. It’s likely you may feel distant towards your loved ones, too.

Anxiety

If your little boy or little girl ends up deployed, you may feel anxious. This sensation is a little different than stress. You may have a hard time sleeping because of your mind and body racing. Panic attacks can happen, especially if you haven’t heard from your love in a bit.

Anger

Sometimes, you may feel angry whenever your spouse leaves to serve their country. Anger can come from your dislike of the enemy, or the government that sent them to war in the first place. You may feel angry at yourself or even at your significant other. Coming to terms with your emotions is always valid, and even if your anger makes you feel emotions you don’t want, it’s important to stress them.

Distant

Sometimes, you may feel distant and cold. You may end up pushing people away because of how uncaring you seem. In reality, you’re coping with your emotions and trying to figure out a way to display them. It’s important that you tell your loved ones that it isn’t them, it’s your emotions.

How to Cope

If your loved one is deployed, you have to take care of yourself. There’s no way you can control it. Here are some ways you can handle your emotions.

Talk About it

One thing you shouldn’t do is to be silent. Expressing your emotions, even if you don’t like how you feel, is valid. Speak about your problems with another loved one, your pastor, or a counselor. Don’t mince words and instead give your full opinions about the situation.

Keep Your Health Up

Eating right and exercising is a good way to keep up your health when you are deployed. You don’t need to eat salads all day or body build, but make sure you’re not eating nothing but junk food. A bit of healthy exercise, be it a walk in a park or doing some crunches at home, can reduce your depression and anxiety.

Spend Time with Your Loved Ones

If you have younger children or other loved ones, it’s important that you spend as much time with them as you possibly can. You can travel, plan some activities, and make some memories with the people you have with you. For ideas, you can click here or go here.

Talk to Others

Talk to people who have children or spouses who are deployed. You can find forums online, or see if there’s a local meetup in your community. Talking to people who have been there and are dealing with the same problem is a smart move. They can empathize with you and you can make it easier for you to cope.

Find a Hobby or Reach Your Dream

Finding a hobby you can try is a good move as well. Is there anything you wanted to try, but didn’t have the time to, like getting into a series, or starting a business? If you live in an empty household because your spouse or child was deployed, now is the best time to reach your dreams.

Try Mindful Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are two concepts that teach you to let go of the things you can’t control and stop worrying about the future. One achieves mindfulness through breathing exercises and heightening their awareness of the world around them. Look up breathing and meditation exercises and try them out. It may take some practice to achieve total mindfulness, and that’s okay.

Faith

If you’re religious, try reconnecting with your faith. Talk to your pastor and see what they recommend. Reconnecting can help you realize there is hope, and you can learn to take your worry and make it easier for you to cope.

Try Military Counseling

In addition to online counseling services, there are military family counseling programs too. One is the Military and Family Life Counseling Program. They can help you with any questions or concerns you may have when your loved one is deployed.

It’s Valid

Your emotions are valid. Do not think you’re selfish because you feel upset when your loved one is deployed. Good luck.

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