Family Mommy Thoughts

A Memory of You, Lourdes #TibayNiNanay

I seldom post too personal a story. There are tons of reasons why, but I’ll just give you one – it’s because I don’t wanna cry. It makes my heart heavy, and I don’t want to let in sadness and negativity. Once I allow that, I’ll become angry and frustrated and people around me will suffer the consequences. But, I know that sometimes, I need a good cry, you know, just to let out the steam and unburden my mind and heart of unnecessary things, so I can let the “sunshine in”. Therefore, this #TibayNiNanay Mother’s Day post.

Orocan #TibayNiNanay Mother's Day

Mother’s Day had come and passed and I’m pretty sure most of you celebrated yours with your mommies. I’m telling you, you are so lucky to be able to spend it with your own mothers.

I have not celebrated a single one with my nanay…. I lost her to Tuberculosis, I was 3 years old. In fact, she already had it when she was pregnant with me. So, soon as she gave birth, I was whisked asap so as to prevent further infection. I’m assuming she got better for some time because I have only one recollection of her. I guess I was 3 years old then, we were seated on our ancestral home’s stairsteps and she was braiding my hair. It was so tight and I can’t sit still and I made her mad all the more. Next memory, she was gone and I was crying while she was being buried. Such harsh reality!

Mother's Day #TibayNiNanay Orocan

Would you believe that this is the only photo I have of her? I’m sure my tatay and siblings kept more photos of her, but I didn’t want to look at any while growing up. It was simply that painful!

But I did ask my tatay countless times about how she was as a mother. He said she was a free spirit yet strong-willed, very determined on what she wanted in life, a born fighter, yet when it came to her family, she did the best she could. I kept asking my dad to describe her, over and over, through the years, until I myself became a mom.

It was really hard, being a first-time mom without any support. But, I vowed to myself that I would carry on for my unborn child. “Ang daming heartaches, hirap na pinagdaanan, to the point that I was disowned by some members of the family for that huge mistake. Though some stood by my side, they were not that kind of support I yearned for. I cried for my mom, even in my dreams and that’s where she guided and held me thru the process. I don’t know if that was God’s doing or she really appeared in my dreams to comfort me, in any which way, those got me thru tough times. There was one incident at the hospital, I can’t remember exactly what happened to me but I was rushed to the E.R. and my sister heard me calling my mom repeatedly. I was all grown-up and with a baby, yet I still clung to her spirit.

A few years ago, married and with 2 kids, I asked my dad again about my mom. He said, all you need to do was look at the mirror and you will see her. Baffled, I did what he said. I was kinda scared at first coz, you know, I might see a ghost or an apparition but all there was staring back at me, was ME!

Realization set in and I figured my dad need not tell me stories about my mom anymore because I have to move on and make my own pages in the book of life. That there’s no need to imagine how my mom was when she was alive because she’s in me! So, that’s why he kept telling me “manang-mana ka sa nanay mo”. I was carefree during my younger days but when I focused or wanted something, I went for it and was never afraid of the repercussions. I fought to live even when things were tough!

Motherhood made me stronger and right now I feel that nothing can make me stumble with His guidance and my family by my side. I no longer see my mother in my dreams, but I can still feel her presence and support. We may not be a typical family, but we’re happy 🙂

For me, every day should be Mother’s Day so we can show our love to her while we can and show appreciation for everything that she does. I’m sure daddies out there will agree that being a mother is a 24-7 job and it’s hard and not an easy shoe to fill.

That’s why you should watch this video and I’m sure you will be able to relate somehow that our moms are “super-tibay sa lahat ng panahon”.

“From the moment we first opened our eyes, to our first steps, to our first words, and the million other milestones that came after, they were there. At every high and every low of our lives, they have supported us, protected us, and loved us with no question. This Mother’s Day, Orocan celebrates the strength and dependability of all our Nanays, Inas, Moms, and Mamas. Nothing really compares with the TibayNiNanay.

Head on over to https://www.facebook.com/OrocanPH/ to know more about the durability of Orocan. Don’t forget share to your own TibayNiNanay stories on our page too!

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1 Comment

  1. And I told myself I’ve already cried too many times I will not cry reading this but I did. Your story is the first I’ve read today. Though we’ve lost our moms at different age in our lives (my mom died when I was 30) I believe no one is too young or too old. We will always need a mom. I really envy those who still have their moms alive at 70,80, 90.

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