Perhaps there is no better time to learn tips for better parenting than when going through a divorce. Children experiencing a divorce often question their own role in the demise of a marriage. They need strong parents who can guide them through this difficult time. Being a good role model and parent to your child, starts with your attitude during the custody process.

Sad KidSad Kid (Photo credit: sokabs)

A Virginia child custody lawyer recently revealed a case of parental alienation. In this instance, the father tried to turn the child against his mother to sway the outcome of the custody case. Indeed, the husband verbally belittled his wife to the child and attempted to impart his new partner as the mother figure for his children. However, lawyers, child specialists and judges are all trained to spot the signs of parental alienation and quickly interfered with the custody case. Rather than belittling a parent and making the entire situation harder on your child, take these three steps toward better parenting.

Spend as Much Time with Your Children as Possible

The most important aspect to good parenting is spending time with your children. Children going through a divorce experience a multitude of emotions and self-blame. They need assurances from their parents that they are still loved. Play with them in any way you can, clean up their messy rooms or together you both tidy up their dog crates. In addition, a divorce lawyer will tell fathers that the amount of time they spend with their kids has great influence in the amount of money they will be spending for custodial support after the divorce.

In addition, courts are no longer assuming that a child should spend most of his time with her mother. As one example, California law supports “frequent and continuing contact” with both parents. In fact, children spending a lot of time with their father are more likely to do well in school, and show less emotional and behavioral problems.

Do Not Show Your Children Negative Emotion

Indeed, children are aware of tension between their parents and can react poorly to an out pouring of negative emotion. From an economic standpoint, do not let your emotions dictate amounts paid for spousal and child support. A father who feels guilty is likely to pay more than what is legally required, while an angry father may feel any amount he is about to pay for support is too much. As much as possible, disregard your emotions from both your parenting, and decisions about support arrangements.

Use a Mediator to Settle Disputes

Good parenting is about prioritizing your child first. Monetary and visiting arrangements are taxing and wear on the emotions of the mom, dad, and their child. A mediator can handle these matters from an impartial standpoint that both parties can agree on. A mediator can handle these details while mom and dad continue to parent to the best of their abilities.