My birthday is coming up in a few days.. oops..thinking out loud, lol. Nah, just wondering how much I’ve changed. I’m always like this whenever my birthday is near. Trying to remember my past, the mistakes I made and/or if I were able to correct them. I know I made huge trouble when I was young but that part of me turned 360 degrees when I met my main man. I’ll reserve that part of my life on my birthday post.

Going back to the topic.. I’m scared. Why? Because I’m getting older and soon I’ll be using a walking cane to help me get around the house. This will be the end of a part of me who loves to go out and bond with my family outside our home. I haven’t experienced walking with a cane but I have seen elderly people trying to get to a destination with so much effort. Thanks to the cane, they can still get far.

There are so many things that scares me and one of them is to be old and weary.

When I am old, it would kill me if my family will decide to put me in a nursing home or just leave me locked in a room simply because I’m already a burden.

When I am old, I wish that life won’t be hard on me. I’ve seen so many old people who die alone because their families abandoned them. I don’t wanna be one of them though I know that my family wouldn’t do such a thing.

When I am old, I pray things will be much better and that I will still be as witty and strong as today.

On Sunday, another year will be added to my age. On that day, I’ll make sure that next year, this old lady won’t be thinking crazy things anymore.  🙂

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